I honestly don’t know where to start… I haven’t written anything in over a year.  Partly the fact too much happens in my life.  I cannot keep up writing about everything that goes on.  I need to get back into writing, it was like a sense of peace that let me explain myself in detail… I’m a terrible speaker, but I love to write… even if my grammar is not all up to par.  The past year I have been working as an EMT.  I really do love my job, there are a bit of downfalls to the title, but overall I’m greatful for what I have.  I work mostly with great people and formed awesome bonds with them.  I’ve finally decided to go back into nursing.  I’m scheduled to start school back up again in September, I’m excited.  I’m working hard to change my life around, it was a dark year, but I’m giving it my all to make a difference.  When my aunt and friend died a couple of months ago it showed me a new side of things… I don’t know how to explain it, but it opened my eyes.  I became good friends with someone this past year.  she has taught me a lot about people and life in general just by working together.  I realized we have both been through a couple of the same things and I wasn’t alone.  She explained to me how much it can affect your life and how it took her about 13 years to finally come to terms with what happened.  I’m amazed at how she could change her life around and I want to do the same.  Its hard though… I get to a point that I think Im moving up in my life and shit happens… pretty much every week.  Almost like a video game and all I want to do is reach the next level, but the flying bullets with the little poison midget people keep shooting me down as I pass by the castle with the yellow flag waving at the finish line.  I have gave up on love for now, too much pain… too many assholes in the world.  I should be fine with being single, I have bigger things to deal with and guys are just drama and needy…  Summer finally came and it feels like November, odd.  I wish I didn’t invest in a Disneyland pass this year, a big waste of money since no one will go.  Yeah so what else… I’m still recovering from being robbed, stabbed, and beat up.  If only I didn’t have 2 broken ribs things would be going more smoothly.  Police have a report, so I’m hoping to hear some good news soon.  I’m learning more and more about diabetes and other health problems then I would of wanted too… I rather be overseas right now then here in California.  I miss London and my family in Switzerland.  No matter how much I want to rant… I’m happy… and I’m grateful for what I have……

There are two reasons why I still work at the retail job I’m at right now.
1. I love the people I work with
2. I have bills to pay for and money for transportation

This week has been tough…  I work very hard, I never sit on the job, and I believe in maintaining good stock at a fast rate, because I hate dealing with customers.  We all make mistakes, no ones perfect… some think they are, but thats a different issue.  I make mistakes.  I made one last week.  I clocked out at 2:15 in the morning instead of 3:00 in the morning.  Why?  I was sick… and when you are sick, your bound to do something stupid.  I did something stupid.  Once I clocked out, I realized I was screw that very second.  It means you ass is grass and you hope to god your boss understands.  Nope, I must of left my luck at home next to my medication.  So now I’m under some violation 30 day watch improvement plan… fantastic.  The sad part is some things people say are not true, but your word never matters, for your just a stock girl who replenishes the store when things get ugly. 

Over the last month I thought it would be a brilliant idea for me to try sales.  Now mind you I work in a area where rich greedy folks will take advantage of you.  They think they have money, so whatever goes for them… wrong.  I’m not going to hold your items in my hands as you shop, for I don’t care.  I’m not going to treat you any different than the rest of the customers, because I don’t care.  Telling me your eyes are ugly in your drivers license picture before the eye brow lift… I don’t care.  Your money means nothing to me… because I really don’t care.  I loose all my joy in selling before I hit the floor because of these fools who suck the joy in what little I have at my minimum wage job.  I know I’m not great at selling, but I will do anything I can to help if the customer is nice to me.  If you have a different plan besides nice, you can kiss my ass.

I had someone ask me the other day… Why are you going to work as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) in 4 months if you hate customers at your store?  Easy… I’ll be making a difference in this world.  I know I will not be treated nicely nor thanked  90% of the time, but I will be there to save lives.  Selling products to snobby rich people, does not make me feel like I’ve done my part.  Finding a patient who is ano x 0 and bring them back to life is my happiness.

Yes I just ranted, I’m upset, and instead of explaining to people… you can read some of my frustrations.  Thanks for reading. 

Have you ever have one of those moments where you have a drink in the refrigerator that you saved all day from your family, and you open the refrigerator and find out that your pain in the butt brother, father, mother in law, or twice removed cousin took your ice cold drink to work with him/her and your standing there feeling an ever growing thirst by the minute.  Last night I had a similar experience, but not quite.  I raided the frig, grabbed my last Sprite, cracked open the seal and took a swig.  As soon as the liquid hit my mouth it shot back into the sink with the rest of the bottle.  I have never tasted such a thing in my life from a Sprite bottle.  The bottle must of only contained water and sugar… no lime, no carbonation.  I’m now terrified to open the other bottles in the pantry.  

After such disappointment I thought I would grab a Root Beer from the pantry instead.  I proceeded in and grabbed a can with a great deal of anticipation to quickly find out that I have been struck by the soda thief once again.  The Root Beer can, still sealed, was 1/4 full or one may say 3/4 empty.  I was upset, I’m standing there thirsty as my evening treat of an ice cold beverage is flashing signals to my dry mouth giving me a big hint that I probably need to lay off the carbonated drinks for awhile.  Evil as that seemed right then, it was probably true.  I sat the rest of the night drinking Arizona Green Tea debating if I’ll ever open the rest of the Sprite bottles… or maybe I should leave the bottles for the next victim… hmmm… what a fantastic idea!