I honestly don’t know where to start… I haven’t written anything in over a year.  Partly the fact too much happens in my life.  I cannot keep up writing about everything that goes on.  I need to get back into writing, it was like a sense of peace that let me explain myself in detail… I’m a terrible speaker, but I love to write… even if my grammar is not all up to par.  The past year I have been working as an EMT.  I really do love my job, there are a bit of downfalls to the title, but overall I’m greatful for what I have.  I work mostly with great people and formed awesome bonds with them.  I’ve finally decided to go back into nursing.  I’m scheduled to start school back up again in September, I’m excited.  I’m working hard to change my life around, it was a dark year, but I’m giving it my all to make a difference.  When my aunt and friend died a couple of months ago it showed me a new side of things… I don’t know how to explain it, but it opened my eyes.  I became good friends with someone this past year.  she has taught me a lot about people and life in general just by working together.  I realized we have both been through a couple of the same things and I wasn’t alone.  She explained to me how much it can affect your life and how it took her about 13 years to finally come to terms with what happened.  I’m amazed at how she could change her life around and I want to do the same.  Its hard though… I get to a point that I think Im moving up in my life and shit happens… pretty much every week.  Almost like a video game and all I want to do is reach the next level, but the flying bullets with the little poison midget people keep shooting me down as I pass by the castle with the yellow flag waving at the finish line.  I have gave up on love for now, too much pain… too many assholes in the world.  I should be fine with being single, I have bigger things to deal with and guys are just drama and needy…  Summer finally came and it feels like November, odd.  I wish I didn’t invest in a Disneyland pass this year, a big waste of money since no one will go.  Yeah so what else… I’m still recovering from being robbed, stabbed, and beat up.  If only I didn’t have 2 broken ribs things would be going more smoothly.  Police have a report, so I’m hoping to hear some good news soon.  I’m learning more and more about diabetes and other health problems then I would of wanted too… I rather be overseas right now then here in California.  I miss London and my family in Switzerland.  No matter how much I want to rant… I’m happy… and I’m grateful for what I have……