Today I was given the Nelson Dennys also known to me as the devils cousins test.  The lady asked me to sign the log where everyone who ever taken the test agreed to the understandings of the test.  The paper which was still on page one dated back in the early 1990’s.  I was concerned, yet somewhat baffled of the whole situation.  She sat down with me and re-sighted the rules.

“Ok vocabulary is 80 questions in 15 minutes.  You can not erase an answer, just circle a different choice and move on.  Do not bother to read everything on the paper, because there is not enough time. The second part is comprehension, 38 questions in 20 minutes.  You have to read each passage before answering the questions.  Are you ready?”

I sat to myself wondering why someone so nutty would design a test with an impossible amount of time.”Huh?”

“Ready, are you ready for this test?”

“Do I get any life lines? A phone call, a majority vote…?”

She smiled, “No, but your ready and you’ll be fine.”

At least someone thought I was ready and she for saw in my future I’ll be fine… smart lady.  I began the vocabulary section and only made it to question 62, “Wow I know luck isn’t usually on my side, but damn.”

“You made it to 62, good job, some do not even make it to 30… I dont understand how people can take this test, there is not enough time.”

“Um I haven’t even made it to part two, your oh so helping my confidence at the moment.  I’m slowly drowning in your opinion.”

“Oops sorry, heres part two.”

After 20 minutes I realized something… would Albert Einstein be fast enough to take the devils cousins test?  Yeah probably, I mean he is Albert Einstein for god sakes!  I answered 21 out of 38 questions… I’m even more out of luck now then when I went gambling last week.

“Well you got an 8o total, which is high for someone who did not even finish the test in both sections.  People have gotten around 70 to 91 when their test is fully completed.  You still had almost 40 more questions to finish.”

“What does this mean?”

“You needed 120 to pass, but you got the highest score since 1997.  I bet if you take the test again you would have a high chance of passing with your rate. You have two try’s to pass.”

I sighed to myself, do I really want to take four months of a long drawn out class debating over the correct forms of reading… not if I can avoid it.  ”Sign me up.”

“Good choice… I’ll see you this Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.”

Splendid.